quest
I am lost.. My mind is filled will so much stuf, but when I try to unlock it, out comes; hate rage fear.. I hate myself cause I have changed back to something I hoped I had put behind me.. Yet, here I am unable to communicate past me nose and with, soon to exist again paranoia, for more things than just myself..
I have been letting things at work get to me, although I have been trying to block out the negative imapcts everyday - It seems to be crippling me to the point, where I forgot the positive energy that i started with at the beginning of this year with. I now find myself joking sarcastically about people (new ones at that) and have lost my natural sense of humour. Instead I force words out at the incorrect moment//and say and gesture about rude or non-becoming acts all in the process of laughter and removing the tension that I feel is directed to me by the people around me..
it is visually upsetting to some people, yet i have not stopped to consider them in all this, except the thought of I am something correct and i can be reliable for help and too too much funnies, I just can't seem to locate a balance in things esp my life as we speak now about it..
I am lost.. My mind is filled will so much stuf, but when I try to unlock it, out comes; hate rage fear.. I hate myself cause I have changed back to something I hoped I had put behind me.. Yet, here I am unable to communicate past me nose and with, soon to exist again paranoia, for more things than just myself..I have been letting things at work get to me, although I have been trying to block out the negative imapcts everyday - It seems to be crippling me to the point, where I forgot the positive energy that i started with at the beginning of this year with. I now find myself joking sarcastically about people (new ones at that) and have lost my natural sense of humour. Instead I force words out at the incorrect moment//and say and gesture about rude or non-becoming acts all in the process of laughter and removing the tension that I feel is directed to me by the people around me..
it is visually upsetting to some people, yet i have not stopped to consider them in all this, except the thought of I am something correct and i can be reliable for help and too too much funnies, I just can't seem to locate a balance in things esp my life as we speak now about it..